Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize