dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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