i think my mom watched the whole time
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
