If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
