I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize