Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
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my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know her cup size but not her name....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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