Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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