eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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