I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
