I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
