I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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