I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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