He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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