I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Text me some of your sweat
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
