so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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