I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
