the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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