Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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