I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize