We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
