Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
