I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
