You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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