She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you never un-have a 4some
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
