Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
