the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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