I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
