I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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