I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
