do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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