After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
