I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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