I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
