I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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