There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
