are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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