Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
