she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
