It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
3 2 1 whiskey
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
