Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize