Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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