Can i not drive my cunt home
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
