Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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