that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
