We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
