but the lizard people decide everything anyway
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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