Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
