just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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