marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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