Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
