You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
