lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
