she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
