I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize