Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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