Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize