bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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