i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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