time to smoke my breakfast
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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