i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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