Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
