The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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