Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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