You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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