its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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