she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
