The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sex in the backyard? Check.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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